Working with Helen Phifer on the synopsis for her novel, Deadly Obsession.
Helen Phifer lives in the South
Lakes. She uses her experience as a community support officer in her crime
writing. She is married and has five teenage children. Deadly Obsession is her
first novel.
Sheila’s comments
As a crime writer, I was delighted to get a chance to work
with Helen on the synopsis for her crime novel. Deadly Obsession is Helen’s
first novel and two things were immediately obvious when she contacted me. The
first was that she’s a natural, talented story-teller. Secondly, like many
first-time novelists, she was struggling to get her synopsis right.
Helen sent me one of several versions she’d been working
with (see below). It wasn’t bad for a first attempt but it needed work. The
narrative – which switches between the past and the present – was confusing and
the punctuation needed serious attention.
One problem with synopsis-writing is that it’s too easy
to write yourself into a corner, trying harder and harder to produce something
that’s easy to read and also manages to summarise every plot element of your
complex novel. All within 500 words. This isn’t possible and the sooner you
give up trying, the easier you’ll find the whole synopsis-writing process.
A good starting point is to come up with a one- or
two-sentence summary which captures the essence of your novel. I suggested this
to Helen and she agreed to give it a try. After a few attempts, we agreed on
this:
The dead can’t
harm you. At least that’s what police officer Annie Graham believes, until she
becomes the target of a Ripper-style killer.
Next, I gave Helen the following list of instructions which
she had to follow to get to the next stage:
1. Sit down
somewhere quiet (with a glass of wine, if necessary).
2. Keep the
summary at the front of your mind.
3. Forget all
other versions of your synopsis.
4. Write a
one-page (or less) synopsis from scratch.
5. When it’s
finished, save it and send it to me. Do not revise it before sending it.
6. Do not
spend more than 30 minutes on this.
Helen followed my instructions to the letter (although I’m
not sure if she stuck to just the one glass of wine) and sent me through the
revised synopsis. It was good. Now, we had something to work with. We tweaked
it a little more until we both had a final synopsis we were happy with.
I know why I prefer the final version, but what do you
think? Send me an email editor@wordswithjam.co.uk
with the subject ‘Synopsis Doc’. I’d love to hear from you.
Helen’s comments
I had written several versions of my synopsis, but I wasn’t
really happy with any of them. They were messy and to be honest I was at the
point of giving in. I had no idea what I could do to sharpen them up until I
found the answer to my prayers, SHEILA. I have learnt so much from her and she
has the patience of a saint. It was amazing to see this messy piece of writing
begin to take shape. I was aghast when she said I had to forget what I had
written previously and start at the beginning although the glasses of wine
helped immensely with this task. I have never been one to disobey orders and
followed Sheila’s instructions.
It has been a fantastic experience working with another
crime writer and I am so thankful I have been given this opportunity. I would
recommend any writer struggling with their synopsis to follow Sheila’s list of
instructions, it will help them immensely. I am now feeling far more positive
about sending my work out to agents and can never thank Sheila enough for all
the time and energy she has spent helping me.
Deadly Obsession – Synopsis One
Police officer Annie Graham is in serious trouble recovering
from a violent attack by her now estranged husband, she becomes the object of
desire for the town’s first serial killer.
A killer who is heavily influenced by “Jack the Ripper”. Henry discovers
a trophy room in the cellar of a crumbling Victorian mansion, empty since its
owner died in 1945. He realises this
room once belonged to “Jack” and finds the knife once used by him it becomes
Henry’s weapon of choice.
Annie who is
temporarily homeless agrees to housesit for her brother. Off work because of her injuries, the only
job she has to worry about is keeping an eye on an empty mansion, nearby. Inside the mansion Annie discovers a diary
written over a hundred years ago by Alice a housemaid who went onto to marry
Edward the only son who inherited the house.
It chronicles the abuse she suffered and Alice finally pieces together
that her husband is the infamous “Jack” who everyone is talking about. She has to fight for her life in his trophy
room. She wins and buries him in the
cellar, taking the world’s best kept secret to the grave with her.
Henry lures his first victim to see the mansion, killing
her in the trophy room. The police begin
to search for the missing teenager.
Bringing Will the Detective Sergeant in charge to the woods, where he
meets Annie for the first time. Will has
a reputation as a womaniser but finds himself falling for Annie which is the
last thing either of them wants. Henry
begins to stalk Annie. After seeing her
with Will he murders another woman in a fit of rage, this throws the police and
Henry into turmoil. Henry then begins to
kill anyone who gets in his way.
Realising time is running out he goes for Annie. Ambushing her he takes her down into the
trophy room. She has read the diary and
knows exactly where she is. Will makes
the connection and dashes to rescue her only to confront Henry and have a massive
heart attack, leaving Annie to fight to save them both. The past is being played out again. Annie manages to overcome Henry. Help finally arrives as the mansion goes up
in flames. Annie, Will and the dead girl
are all carried from the burning building to waiting paramedics. Henry stumbles out after them his hair on
fire and bleeding he collapses onto the lawn.
Three weeks later Annie buries her husband. The story ends with Annie laying flowers on
the grave of Alice the woman who killed “Jack” and telling her that her secret
is safe.
Deadly Obsession – Synopsis Two
Novel: Deadly Obsession
Word Count: 83000 Words
Genre: Crime/Supernatural
The dead can’t harm
you. At least that’s what police officer Annie Graham believes, until she
becomes the target of a Ripper-style killer.
When ANNIE GRAHAM’S violent husband MIKE finally goes too
far, putting her in hospital she flees to the sanctuary of her brother’s house,
located in the grounds of a crumbling Victorian mansion.
While she’s there, police begin to search the woods
surrounding the mansion for a missing teenager. During the search, Annie meets
WILL ASHWORTH a fellow cop with a taste for the ladies and a vulnerable side.
Despite Will’s reputation Annie finds herself drawn to him. And the feeling is
mutual. Will can’t stop thinking about her.
Local girls are going missing, and it soon becomes clear
that Will isn’t the only one with his eye on Annie. When the killer, who lures
each victim to the woods, spies Annie, she unknowingly becomes the object of
his desire.
As the killer closes in, a regretful Mike skips his bail
hostel and comes to find Annie, determined to win her back.
Meanwhile, Annie has become intrigued with the content of
an old diary she finds in the school room of the mansion. The diary belonged to
housemaid, ALICE HUGHES. Through its pages she discovers clues to the house’s
dark past.
The owner, a once charming man called Edward, had a
terrifying alter ego. After killing his mother in a jealous rage, he goes to
London where he murders at least five prostitutes, gaining infamy as the
notorious ‘Jack the Ripper’.
The clues to Edward’s dark past lie in the pages of
Alice’s diary. But can Annie figure out the truth before two terrible crime
sprees, separated by more than one hundred years, converge in the grimy,
blood-splattered cellar next door?
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